Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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