Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
