I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
