We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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