woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
