i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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