so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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