I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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