Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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