Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
