I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
