you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize