It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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