We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
