i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
