just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
