Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
