Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
