Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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