omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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