This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
