I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
