is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I understand Curling. That high.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
