this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
