Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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