i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
