was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
