well most of my day revolves around power hour
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
