Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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