I need help removing her.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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