yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You can't special order awesome
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
