How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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