I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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