Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
