YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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