I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
