We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
