I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
