Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
