She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
