how can u be prego again
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
