Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
