just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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