I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
How's work?
Spinning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
