KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
