I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It was confusing and full of hummus
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
