we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The best revenge is premature balding
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
