I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
