Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
