It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
