she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You dont lie about slip and slides
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
