So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
