we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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