So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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