Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
