what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
