please come you make the beer taste better
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
