You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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