think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
